See Me

    This post originally appeared on the NCOA blog.

    According to a recent Gallup Poll, there are approximately 2.4 million lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people over 50 years old. We know that many LGBTQ/SGL (same-gender loving) elders never came out of the closet because of the discrimination and stigma associated with being considered criminal and mentally ill. Many compartmentalized their lives into separate “bins” without ever sharing their whole selves.

    The way it was

    Indeed, LGBTQ/SGL people could be fired from their jobs; have their children taken away through the courts;.... Read More

                 

    A Lack of Fair Housing for Diverse Elders Leads to Health Disparities and Economic Insecurity

    Did you know? April is National Fair Housing Month. Every April, the United States commemorates the anniversary of the passing of the Fair Housing Act and recommits to that goal which inspired us in the aftermath of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s assassination in 1968: to eliminate housing discrimination and create equal opportunity in every community.

    I thought I’d learn more about National Fair Housing Month if I went to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development’s website. There I read: “Recent studies and data reveal that, while segregation has decreased since the passage of the Fair Housing Act 47 years ago, segregation remains a problem today.” Housing segregation is still a problem today?.... Read More

                 

    At the Steps of the Supreme Court

    On December 5, 2017, I, an African American lesbian elder, found myself on the steps of the Supreme Court of the United States of America. I had been asked to share my thoughts on the Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission case. I was happy that I’d been asked because I had a few thoughts and life experiences on what legalized discrimination looked and felt like.

    However, for a few minutes, being in front of the Supreme Court, the highest court in the land, seemed surreal. Sort of like the time my wife and I took a cruise down the Nile in Egypt with the pyramids as a backdrop. I mean here I was on the same.... Read More

                 

    Housing for Vulnerable Populations: Charge and Change

    January 15th was the day we celebrated the dreamer-activist Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and February is the month we celebrate Black History. As an older, African American, lesbian, activist, scholar, wife, mother, grandmother, sister, caregiver, friend, it is traditionally a time for me to reflect on the history and herstory of me and my ancestors in this country and across the globe.

    I grew up wanting a house with a white picket fence. I guess those dreams came from the fairy tales of my childhood. I remember moving into a house in southeast Washington, DC where we were the only black family at the time. I remember hearing about Dr. King‘s advocacy and social justice work, which took him.... Read More

                 

    Why Mary’s House? (Again.)

    People often ask me, “Why do we need a place for LGBT older people to live? Don’t we have enough nursing homes and retirement homes for them to use?”

    So I often share the story of John, a well-to-do gay elder who was found deceased — in his welcoming, upscale retirement complex. He had stopped going to church. He had stopped playing cards and going to the clubs. He had stopped interacting with his friends.

    marys

    Or I sometimes share the sorrow of my older friend, Helen, who after the death of her partner, was asked by her partner’s siblings to leave the.... Read More

                 

    Housing For Diverse Elders is a Public Health Issue

    20140927_115025Spring is here. The knockout rose bushes are in full bloom, the other flowers have begun to bloom in the garden. Old Man Winter has left and we can sit on the front porch. However, as I write this, I am in the house, bundled up in a turtleneck and cable knit sweater thinking Old Man Winter hasn’t gone far enough and I should perhaps turn on the heat. My mind automatically drifts to thinking about the older adults that are in need of warm, safe, decent, affordable housing, the increase of homelessness and the decrease of affordable housing among elders in the country.... Read More

                 

    Suicide and LGBTQ/SGL Older Adults

    During Black History Month, Mary’s House for Older Adults, SAGE Metro DC, and AARP DC held a LGBTQ/SGL (same gender-loving) State of the Union. One of the issues brought to the forefront was the increase of suicides among LGBTQ elders in nursing homes and other facilities. Surprised?

    While we’re all sort of aware that suicide is a leading cause of death for youth aged 10 to 24, we rarely think of it as a leading cause for elders. However, the National Council on Aging (NCOA) has a startling statistic: people 45-64 years old had the highest suicide rate in 2013, and elders 85 years.... Read More

                 

    2016: A View of Hope

    I have been thinking about what it means to be me: an older, African American out lesbian, wife, mother, grandmother, caregiver, educator, and CEO, living and working in the United States. In 2008, the words Audacity of Hope and hopeful came to mind, in reference to then President-Elect Obama’s book, The Audacity of Hope and my experiences.

    I was born in segregated Washington, DC in a time when nonwhites couldn’t eat in dining establishments; when people of color were treated at two medical hospitals, Freedman’s, the hospital for Negroes, or DC General, the city hospital. It was a time where my parents would have to go back “home” to North Carolina to vote for President, where a retired professional was.... Read More

                 

    HIV: You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby

    Fast approaching proverbial rear view mirror status is World AIDS Day, celebrated on December 1 for “achieving the global target of halting and reversing the spread of HIV.” Pretty heady accomplishments toward a “disease with the little name” that among other things wiped out generations of people beginning in the 80s. Back then, homosexuals, Haitians, hemophiliacs and heroin drug users were referred to by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) as its top four high-risk group for AIDS/HIV. Many folks and organizations, including government workers, researchers, medical professionals and the Baltimore Afro American newspaper, dubbed this group as the “4-H Disease Alert.”

    At that time, not much was known about how you got it or how you could get rid.... Read More

                 

    Mary’s House in the HOUSE at Capital Pride

    Mary’s House for Older Adults, Inc (MH) collaborated with SAGE Metro DC and joined the celebration of LGBTQ Elders during the Parade and Festival of Capital Pride on June 13-14, 2015.

    Parade
    This was the first ever time that Mary’s House had been in the Parade.  We were excited to offer FREE transportation to LGBTQ people over 60 and to folks who were not able to walk the entire parade route. Many thanks to Jerry Miller who donated a state-of-the-art trolley and his time. The crowd just cheered to see LGBTQ elders participate in the Parade as well!  We threw the prerequisite beads and candy AND we sprayed our WATER GUNS on the crowd.  They.... Read More

                 

    Op-ed: Pride Needs to Include More Than the Young and Cute

    This post originally appeared in The Advocate.

    For 25 years, DC Black Pride has been a Memorial Day weekend tradition of celebration and education for Washington, D.C.’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. Taking place Friday through Sunday at the Washington Grand Hyatt hotel, this year’s event will see several thousand converging for parties, workshops, and live entertainment. For the first time, this year’s festival intentionally includes older adults in its programming. It also highlights a cause near and dear to my heart: Mary’s House for Older Adults, the first of its kind LGBTQI-friendly residence in D.C. for people age 60 and over.

    This hasn’t always been the.... Read More

                 

    The Ins and Outs of LGBT Caregiving

    We, (those of us older than 50) are now finding out what Bette Davis knew, that “Old age ain’t no place for sissies.” Those of us who are also lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) may have additional challenges including homophobia and heteronormativity, which can send us running back to the very closets we fought so hard to leave, according to Stein and colleagues in a 2010 article in the Journal of Gerontology Social Work.

    Recently I did a study with African-American lesbians and gay males. All study participants experienced a sense of alienation, in the African-American and majority-LGBT communities, described consistently as “a hurt that lasts a long time.” They also talked of a sense of not.... Read More

                 
    Page 1 of 212